Mission District Food Tour by an Obsessive Completest

Mission District Food Tour by an Obsessive Completest

Phil Ventura

My dear friend Phil Ventura has been a favorite dinner guest at my table for years. He’s got an endless appetite! We talk about food while we’re eating it. He took on the daunting task of trying to eat at just about every restaurant in his neighborhood’s radius – The Mission District.  We swoon about dishes we tried together and shared a most memorable late lunch together when we once traveled to NYC and ate offal at one our favorite spots – Casa Mono. Here is more of diary of his eating tour than review.

La Taqueria - This place was my introduction to the mission years ago when Juanita shared it with me.  The chorizo quesadilla is still my favorite thing on the menu, it will leave you completely incapacitated, but it’ll take you to heaven first. No way will there be a bite left in your little plastic basket.  Having eaten at most of the Mission taquerias, of which there are an insane amount, I still rank this one the best, though El Metate will do and El Farolito on 24th and Mission (not the Alabama one!) is really the only option after midnight.

La Santaneca de la Mission - Best pupusas in the mission, hands down. For less than ten bucks you can get a plate of pupusas revueltas with crunchy cabbage topping and tangy red sauce that’ll make your eyes roll back in your head.  I’ve taken many friends here and it never fails to elicit embarrassing food orgasms. The wait staff is sweet and the fried plantains are an awesome cap off to the meal if you aren’t already leaned back with your pants unbuttoned.

Yamo - This place is not known for comfortable seating or excellent service, so don’t expect a second tiny glass of water to go with your food.  That said, everything on the menu is fucking delicious and there is nothing more satisfying than their house noodles with beef when you’ve got an empty stomach. Get a place at the tiny bar, stuff your face with food so tasty you want to cry, then get the hell out.

Pal’s Takeaway - The sandwich situation in the mission is pretty abysmal.  Luckily, there’s this tiny operation inside Tony’s Market on 24th.  It’s only open 3 hours a day and has three sandwiches on offer along with some sides.  The menu changes daily but the food is consistently complex and satisfying with lots of fresh, local ingredients and creative combinations.

Bar Bambino - I eat at fancy restaurants as well.  New ones are popping up constantly in this neighborhood and a lot of them, like Delfina, Farina, Foreign Cinema, Bar Tartine, Commonwealth, Beretta, etc. get talked about a hell of a lot already.  I feel like the only reason Bar Bambino isn’t as chatted up, despite the fact that it’s better than most of those places, is because it’s on a pretty sketchy stretch of 16th street.  It’s the kind of block that makes my relatives worry about my safety when they come to visit.  Still, I’d take the awesome pasta plates at Bambino over Flour+Water or Locanda any day.  And if you’re scared, head there during the day, there’s a cute outdoor area in the back.

Mr. Pollo - I got so freaking excited when I heard this place was finally opening for lunch.  However, you probably want to get there in the evening so you can stare at Manny Torres Gimenez working behind the counter.  He’s a cutie and when you order the 20 dollar (!!!) four course tasting menu, he’ll walk over and talk to you about each dish and how he picked the mushrooms himself while you make your best dreamy face.

Mr. Pollo

El Gallo Giro - Simply put, best taco truck.  Super cheap, massive tacos with delicious, juicy al pastor and carnitas, or lengua if you like that creepy, bumpy shit.  Tons of fresh toppings and a spicy sauce to make your eyes water.

St. Francis Fountain - This is the haven for your hangover.  They seriously have a dish called the chef’s mess which is a mountain of potatoes and bacon with melted cheese.  Even in your deluded, morning-after state, you will not be able to finish this thing.  Most important, it is frequently staffed by some of the cutest boys in the mission.  A definite sight for sore eyes.

Humphry Slocombe - I am not a sweets person.  At all.  Give me a grilled cheese sandwich over a donut any day.  That said, how could I resist an ice cream shop sporting a flavor called Jesus Juice??  It’s red wine and coca cola, and it used to be my favorite until I literally ate a quart of it in one sitting.  Secret Breakfast (cornflakes and bourbon) is now my go to, but there’s always new flavors to make you feel fat.

Robert Polacek Eats Out

Robert Polacek Eats Out

Robert Polacek

My friend Roby is the Chief Creative Officer and Partner at Puccini Group. The San Francisco based design firm that specializes in creating restaurants with personality and style. You’ve probably stepped foot into one of his firms countless sophisticated, chef-tailored, noteworthy restaurants across the globe for clients such as Jumeirah, Kimpton, Fairmont and Four Seasons among others. He heads up the concept development and design side of the company. He’s promised me over a few drinks (I said a few) that I would someday be the inspiration for a boutique hotel and restaurant. Can you imagine? “I’d like to stay in Juanita’s suite and can you send up an order of  the MORE!marrow appetizer with a bottle of champagne from room service”.

Enjoying “a few drinks” in the Tenderloin.

Robert Polacek answers my foodie questionnaire here:

What is your favorite dessert?

Hands down – Goat Cheese Cheesecake! There is something about the fact that it has to be made fresh in order to serve it.  I love the tanginess of the goat cheese combined with the sweetness of the cheesecake. I think it is the perfect combination.

What restaurant would you call your home?

The  very establishment of a restaurant in general is my home, given I’m always on the road researching them for upcoming concepts and designs. But if I had to choose one in San Francisco, it would be Anchor Oyster Bar. Everything about it feels like home – the simplicity of the concept to the welcoming staff. I love that everything is fresh and local and there is a ‘feeling’ of genuineness that truly defines what a restaurant experience should be.

Roby and I. We are way overdue for a lunch date.

What is the strangest or most inspiring thing you’ve ever eaten?

Most inspiring and strangest was when I dedicated two full days (all in the name of research) to Singapore Street Food. Everything from pig intestine soup, to chicken feet, duck heart stew, you name it tired it. Long story short – every organ of every animal in two days! In Singapore, one of the most vital food cultures in the world, eating, or as the locals say, ‘makan’, is more than just food. It’s a national obsession, a passion, a way of life. Friends don’t greet each other with hello, instead they’ll say, “have you eaten?”. This philosophy struck me because I share that thinking and which is why my passion in life is creating the perfect stage for eating and enjoying  meals with friends and family.  That exploration in Singapore enlightened me to look further into the culture of eating for my inspiration to design.

What was your favorite breakfast cereal as a kid?

Growing up with divorced parents, I learned at an early age the joys of choices and never just settling for one of anything! During the week and at my mom’s I shoveled Fruity Pebbles before they got soggy and during the weekends, sans sugar and sweets, I enjoyed Honey Nut Cheerios at my dad’s house.

What is your favorite food to pig out on after the club?

Cheddar cheese, peanut butter and dill pickles. But that’s only if don’t make it to Cybelle’s pizza – I love a mushroom slice with tons of hot pepper flakes.

Roby in my apartment.

Food Revolution

I love Jamie Oliver AKA The Naked Chef – who is working hard to make America eat better. And, there are a lot of things I love about his 2nd season show titled ” Food Revolution”. I love the passion and energy he has to try and get America to eat better. America is terribly obese. Two years ago I went to Disneyland for the day with some friends. Disneyland is such a melting pot of our country. Everyone comes to this imaginary land young and old. And, it was terrible obvious how overweight this country is. There were entire parents that couldn’t get on rides with their children. Instead they spent there time at the food stands. Not one of which was serving anything healthy. The bulk of food at Disneyland is pre-made, pre-packaged or deep fried. One child was holding a sugary sweet super-sized soda with both of his little hands – it was almost the length of his arm. Jazzy’s and wheelchairs zipped around the overweight elders throughout the park. So I want America to believe in Jamie Oliver. I kinda believe in Jamie Oliver. But, in watching “Food Revolution” this past week I started to notice how out of shape, pudgy and plain old unhealthy he looks. I hope he finds time to create a healthier diet for himself. It would make be believe in him even more. And, I want to see the old Naked Chef again.