Robert Jeffrey & Kiki Eat Out

Robert Jeffrey and Kiki helping each other out.

Robert Jeffrey and Kiki helping each other out.

You all know what a big a foodie I am. And I like to think that I make healthy choices when eating out. I have to be very, very drunk to make someone drive me through a fast food restaurant. For some reason it usually happens mainly when I’m in Los Angeles and especially when I’m hanging out with William.

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William driving me through Jack In The Box, 2AM

I’m always fascinated when I see people making sober choices about eating at a fast food joint. That’s if you can understand my drunk reasoning. So I asked two boys in my life – Robert Jeffrey and Kiki – who live to eat America’s junk food, to answer a few questions.

No comment.

No comment.

What is your favorite fast food restaurant?

Robert Jeffrey: Hmmm it’s so hard to pick one! I like each spot for certain reasons. Like when I go to Burger King I always get the Whopper. It’s my fav fast food burger. Arby’s roast beef sandwich, curly fries, and a Jamocha shake rules. I ball till I fall at Taco Bell, especially if there is a KFC. And on a side note KFC is better than Popeye’s. Wendy’s is also at the top of my list. I’m pretty sure they started the whole dollar menu concept too. What’s not to love about a frosty, a burger, fries and chicken nuggets for less than $5? But if I had to pick one I would go with McDonalds. They have the best all around menu and if I’m up early enough there is nothing better than Mccy D’s breakfast. A sausage McMuffin with the hashbrowns on it is heaven to me. If its lunch time I go with the fish fillet. I could probably eat five of them in one sitting.

Kiki: That is like asking who is your favorite child! It’s really a toss up between Popeye’s Chicken and McDonald’s. Depends on how much grease I want running down my forearm and if it is two piece Tuesdays aka TPT…

What is the one thing you’ve ordered at a fast food restaurant without any shame? 

Kiki: “The Stacker” is a devil sandwich that sister Robert Jeffery taught me by taking a McDouble and McChicken and stacking it together.

Robert Jeffrey: My shameless item is ordering pretty much everything at Taco Bell/KFC. I cringe when they read back the order. You would think I was ordering for an entire family. I also like getting a McChicken McDouble from Mc Donald’s and stacking them together into one sandwich. I call it the McStacker or the McGang-Bang.

What is your favorite snack to buy at the grocery store?

Robert Jeffrey: God I can’t even begin to pick a snack from the grocery store. I like getting something from all the food groups. Something spicy, something sweet (chocolate), something sour/fruity (Sour Patch Kids or Skittles) and something salty. If I get chips I usually go Doritos of some flavor. I like Pepperidge Farms double dark chocolate cookies.

Kiki: I always get Lays original chips and pair it with boxed white wine. Every time I grab a bag I say out loud, “I JUST gotta have my Lays!”.

What is your favorite non-alcoholic beverage?

Kiki: “Hurricane” it is a mix of all the fountain drinks in order, but there is a science to it. You can’t just slam your cup and think you’re getting a sugar drink masterpiece!  Sprite and Cherry Coke are the foundation, followed by Orange Fanta, Dr. Pepper, etc… A Rancho Cordova staple!

Robert Jeffrey: Coca Cola is hands down my favorite non-alcoholic drink. The Mexican bottled ones are one of my top 5 favorite things in the world! I drink wayyyy to much pop. I love adding bitters and cherry juice to my Cokes when I’m in the clurb.

How many times a week do you eat out at fast food restaurants?

Kiki: So much so that I have gentlemen suitors at several Popeye’s locations.

Robert Jeffrey: I go thru spurts of eating fast food. Some weeks at least 2 or 3 times, then I won’t have it for 2 weeks – then I’m back at it again. I guess it all depends on my hangover. I will fuck up some fast food after a long night of drinking.

Whats the biggest order you’ve ever placed?

Kiki: $70+ worth of food at Jack in the Box for a friend and I. I told the associate “The items on the menu… I’ll have that.” We sat crossed legged and laid the food out in a semi circle. It felt like a fast food commander center!!!

Robert Jeffrey: My biggest order is when Stanley Frank and I got 99 cheeseburgers for our Monday night party, Viennetta Discotheque. We also got 4 value meals for us to grub in the DJ booth. On a personal level Kiki and I had a pretty gnarly meal at Taco Bell/KFC recently when they released the Cool Ranch Doritos tacos. They messed up our order so we ended up getting like 7 extra tacos on top of us already ordering 10-12 items. It was amazing!

Kiki, Robert Jeffrey and I.

Kiki, Robert Jeffrey and I.

Robert Jeffrey currently holds DJ residencies at Viennetta Discotheque (every Monday night at SF Underground), Dial Up (monthly at Public Works)  and Booty Call Wednesdays in San Francisco.

Kiki currently serves sass at Bliss Spa in San Francisco.